Tuesday, November 10, 2015

The place was like a fortress. We had to leave all contraband in the car (which turned out to be my purse) and go through three locked doors to get in. We signed in and a nurse used a card to swipe the doors for us to go through. They took us to a windowless room with three chairs like you see in a cafeteria. Then they wheeled him in. He sits is a leather recliner with drop trays on both sides and it is on rollers. He has not walked since being brought in. He is on an IV because he was dehydrated. I leaned over him and said a soft hi. He focused on me for a minute, then his face broke out in a huge smile. He said "I haven't seen you in a long time". I tear up as I type this. He told us a story about something that happened at work many years ago and repeated it over about 5 times. That was okay. Then he told us his wife left him there and took everything! He did fall asleep for about 5 minutes while we were there, then woke up and said he was tired. Before we left he looked at me and said "You can come back anytime". He did not really know who we were but it was okay for us to be there. He didn't seem drugged but any question we asked he said he didn't know or couldn't remember. He didn't ask us where he was or for us to get him out.

I can't tell you how nervous the boys and I were. We talked about it on the way there. I felt like I would throw up all day. When he smiled at me all that feeling fell away and I was at peace. I hope that will continue. I had it in my mind that they would make him all better and he would come home but now I see that won't happen. It's time for our new reality. I can only hope he will be as sweet when he comes back to the nursing home. I don't know if they will be able to do physical therapy when he gets back since he hasn't walked in so long. He may be in a wheelchair from now on. I wanted to tell you all how it went because you have all been so kind and caring. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am still not quite in the new place yet until he comes back and gets used to the nursing home. Then I will be okay. Yesterday went a long way to calming me down. I just needed to see him. Be kind to one another.

12 comments:

  1. Brenda , my heart goes out to you. I'm so glad that you had a good reception when you and the boys went to see him. It sounds like the treatment he is receiving has paid dividends with the anger issues. I hope that he will be able to settle back into the home and you will be able to visit often. Till then take care and keeping you in my thoughts. Virtual hugs. Mrs A. xxxxxxx

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  2. Oh Brenda, I'm so glad it went well. It sounds like this was a good step in his treatment so hopefully he will be able to settle back into the nursing home and you can visit. What beautiful pictures!! Thinking of you and keeping your family in my prayers!! Big hugs :)

    Lisa
    A Mermaid's Crafts

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  3. Oh Brenda, what beautiful pictures as Lisa says. And this is another step forward, if they can help with the anger that will make things so much easier for you and the boys when you visit.

    I owe you an email but am slipping behind with time on the computer at the moment. But you're in my thoughts each and every day.

    Love and hugs

    Di xx

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  4. Brenda, I am so happy to read this post and learn that your visit went well. And funny how he said his wife left him and took everything...HA! Laughter is good for the soul :) Keeping you and your family in my thoughts. Stay strong.

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  5. So happy to read this with a lighter heart for you. I can imagine how difficult & stressful this has been & I can tell you feel better about things. You have a lovely family and Bill looks quite content. Praying that he will soon be able to be at the closer facility so you won't have so far to travel, and if it works out, that you can visit more often if you want. God keep all of you! TFS & so enjoyed our chat today. Big hugs coming your way along with some prayers.

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  6. Thank you so much for the update, Brenda, my friend. I've been checking your blog when I can, anxious for you and wondering how it went. What a relief to read that it went well and that you are feeling calmer about what's happened. It must have been a relief for your sons, too - who are very handsome I must say! They look like sweethearts who will be there for you and that's a big blessing that so many don't have. I hope the treatment continues to be successful at easing Bill's anger and I hope he can soon return to the nursing home and be happy there - and receiving PT.

    That must have taken you all back when you found out about his wife leaving him and taking him to the cleaners, no less! The tart! Fortunately, he likes you and wants you to keep coming back, so that's the important thing! I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers always! Love and hugs, Darnell

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    1. Oh gosh, trust Darnell to pick up on his tart of a wife taking everything and running off and leaving him like that :) Despite the situation being as it is for you Brenda - I hope you don't mind that I almost wet myself laughing! All the more as it seems that Bill likes you and you can go back to visit again :) They say laughter is like chicken soup for the soul - I just had a big bowlful here!!

      Love and hugs

      Di xx

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  7. Oh Brenda, what beautiful pictures you shared here. Your sons are so handsome, I can see them taking after their father! How lucky to have such awesome support and love. Some prayers were answered, right? Your husband is calmer, kinder and he welcomed you back any time..that must have really warmed your heart. God is good and giving you those little God wink moments to treasure and build up in your heart...remember them always. this is such a peaceful picture with you and him and then the second one with your sons and their father. You are blessed!! You are loved! Prayers always...every day. Peace, my friend!

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  8. I'm crying as I type, Brenda, but I am so, so glad your dear hubby was not agitated & told you to come back anytime. I can't even imagine the stress, pain & anxiety this is for your whole family. Wonderful that both boys were with you & that you could get some sweet pictures to treasure & that you've started to really feel some peace. Warm hugs from your Oregon friend-Greta

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  9. We've been away for a few days, with intermittent internet connection, so only just getting a chance to catch up with your blog. So pleased that your visit went well and your hubby is much calmer. Sending much love. xx

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  10. I cannot even imagine how hard it has been to go so many days without seeing him. I'm glad you finally were allowed to do that and he was happy to see you. You have a good support group in your boys and that is wonderful. One day at a time is all you can do. Thoughts and prayers, my friend! <3

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  11. I can't even imagine what you, your son's and DH must be going through. Not to be able to see DH for so many days must be heartbreaking for you all. I know it would be for me. I am happy that he was happy to see you though, so I totally understand the tears!! I have them in my eyes as I type this. I also love, love the pictures of you all with DH. You look fabulous as does DH, and you have two very handsome sons as well! I'm so happy that you have them by your side in all this. My guys help me a lot too and I don't know what I would do without them.My prayers, thoughts and hugs are always with you my friend!! Hugs, Brenda

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