No card stuff today.
Thank you, thank you all. I was so uplifted when I got home last night and read your comments. It may be a while before I get around to your blogs. I came in last night, ate a sandwich and just sat. I talked to the boys and hubby's sister and that was pretty much it. Just drained. The day did not go anywhere near like I expected. DH was asleep when I got there. He said "don't do this to me again, I don't like it". and went back to sleep. The nurse came in and we talked about him. A little later the Priest came in and talked. He asked me if I had considered a feeding tube. We talked awhile and he said a prayer with me. Then the Dr. came in. Wanted to know if DH was eating. He did not eat any of his lunch there. Dr. wanted to know if I had considered a feeding tube. I asked why we were having this conversation. Did he think we were near the end? He said no one knows but woud I talk to the Pallative Care team. He said there comes a time when medicine doesn't help the person and there is no sense in giving it to them. So she came in and asked the same thing. We filled out some paperwork because DH has a DNR on file at the hospital. Then, if you can believe it, the social worker came in! I kinda felt bombarded. Every single person I talked to patted me on the arm I just got my flu shot in and it is sore! I thought I would just have to console hubby but he never talked or woke up.
When I called last night before I went to bed the nurse said he ate a little dinner and was awake for a little while. They had ordered morphine for his pain and maybe that was why he was in such a deep sleep. It's hard to tell. He didn't have morphine at home and he slept all the time. I'll see how things are today.
There is a funny side to all this. It was cold and pouring down rain when I got to the lobby to leave. I had my purse, the folder Pallative Care gave me, a book (whick I never leave home without) and my umbrella. So I started out to the car and unzipped my purse to get my keys. Hung them on my thumb and zipped up my purse. Walked a few steps and realized I don't have my keys. So I started retracing my steps. A lady stopped me and asked if I was looking for my keys and I said yes. She said they just took them to the information desk inside. I thanked her and went back in. The man said they just took them to security. How efficient are they. So I trooped over there and got them. That wouldn't have been an issue except I had done my inhalers early in the morning and I could hardly breathe. I have COPD. Once I got my keys I stopped in the lobby, put all my stuff down and did my inhaler. Then back outside I went. There, right in front of the door, was a shuttle. Oh happy day. Everyone that got on told the driver I'm in E or I'm in so and so. I didn't know there was a shuttle so I didn't know where I was! He drove right by my car on a different row and then started winding around and I really didn't know where my car was. I was afraid we would have to go back and start over but we did finally drive by it. That was a blessing. I didn't make a card yesterday!
I'm off to shower and get to the hospital this morning to see how he is. He is on IV antibotics for the UTI and they think he possibly has aspiration pneumonia. He has been through so many health issues in his life. I truly hate dementia. Be kind to one another.
Thank you, thank you all. I was so uplifted when I got home last night and read your comments. It may be a while before I get around to your blogs. I came in last night, ate a sandwich and just sat. I talked to the boys and hubby's sister and that was pretty much it. Just drained. The day did not go anywhere near like I expected. DH was asleep when I got there. He said "don't do this to me again, I don't like it". and went back to sleep. The nurse came in and we talked about him. A little later the Priest came in and talked. He asked me if I had considered a feeding tube. We talked awhile and he said a prayer with me. Then the Dr. came in. Wanted to know if DH was eating. He did not eat any of his lunch there. Dr. wanted to know if I had considered a feeding tube. I asked why we were having this conversation. Did he think we were near the end? He said no one knows but woud I talk to the Pallative Care team. He said there comes a time when medicine doesn't help the person and there is no sense in giving it to them. So she came in and asked the same thing. We filled out some paperwork because DH has a DNR on file at the hospital. Then, if you can believe it, the social worker came in! I kinda felt bombarded. Every single person I talked to patted me on the arm I just got my flu shot in and it is sore! I thought I would just have to console hubby but he never talked or woke up.
When I called last night before I went to bed the nurse said he ate a little dinner and was awake for a little while. They had ordered morphine for his pain and maybe that was why he was in such a deep sleep. It's hard to tell. He didn't have morphine at home and he slept all the time. I'll see how things are today.
There is a funny side to all this. It was cold and pouring down rain when I got to the lobby to leave. I had my purse, the folder Pallative Care gave me, a book (whick I never leave home without) and my umbrella. So I started out to the car and unzipped my purse to get my keys. Hung them on my thumb and zipped up my purse. Walked a few steps and realized I don't have my keys. So I started retracing my steps. A lady stopped me and asked if I was looking for my keys and I said yes. She said they just took them to the information desk inside. I thanked her and went back in. The man said they just took them to security. How efficient are they. So I trooped over there and got them. That wouldn't have been an issue except I had done my inhalers early in the morning and I could hardly breathe. I have COPD. Once I got my keys I stopped in the lobby, put all my stuff down and did my inhaler. Then back outside I went. There, right in front of the door, was a shuttle. Oh happy day. Everyone that got on told the driver I'm in E or I'm in so and so. I didn't know there was a shuttle so I didn't know where I was! He drove right by my car on a different row and then started winding around and I really didn't know where my car was. I was afraid we would have to go back and start over but we did finally drive by it. That was a blessing. I didn't make a card yesterday!
I'm off to shower and get to the hospital this morning to see how he is. He is on IV antibotics for the UTI and they think he possibly has aspiration pneumonia. He has been through so many health issues in his life. I truly hate dementia. Be kind to one another.
9 comments:
Oh Brenda, what a day you had yesterday! I've been thinking about you ever since I spotted yesterday's post and wondering how things went. I think they were playing you a broken record about the feeding tube? Say it often enough and you'll say yes is the theory sometimes. It's a decision for you, and maybe the boys to make so don't feel pressured. Plus, your DH ate a little on his own anyhow!
Oh what a palaver you had getting back to your car - but a shuttle is such a good idea. Our local hospital is a nightmare - steps up from the main car park regardless and that's no fun on crutches I found a few years back. Why do they do these things?!
Anyhow my sweet girl, take care of yourself and don't forget that you also need food!
Love and hugs
Di xx
Hi Brenda, Sorry I've been absent and have just seen what you're going through. We went through similar with my Dad. It's a hard decision to make and something we hope never to have to encounter. Nursing home care can be the very best choice. Don't feel guilty. You have done all that's humanly possible and will be there for him in the Nursing Home. You both are in my prayers.
Oh wow, what a day. I hope today is a much better one for you and for your hubby. At least it's not raining today!! I'm so glad you were able to find your keys. Thinking of you and keeping you both in my prayers. Hugs :)
Lisa
A Mermaid's Crafts
Brenda, I have been missing also...my 94 year old dad was in the hospital, he fell and broke a rib, then from there we put him in a skilled nursing facility to get some PT and time to heal. He made it home, but I have not done much with the blogs or making comments. But I have to tell you that two days ago, you were very heavy on my heart and I started to pray for you and your husband. i definitely had a God Wink moment. Please know that I keep you close to my heart and in prayer. I am so sorry you are having to make these kind of decisions,you need to feel good that your DH is getting the BEST care and is in a safe place! Now you take care of yourself too. And I will continue to pray the rosary for you!! Heart Hugs! Colleen
Oh Brenda, I am sorry to hear about hubby and all that your are going through. I have been off-line getting my computer fixed since Tuesday. I had been think in of you these last couple of day though, guess that was God putting you on my mind to pray. I know God will take care of you and hubby and you have been surrounded by many people that will know how to care for hubby. I am sure you are in good hands and God's will for you husband. After the fact you will see how much God loves you and hubby and how he was taking care of you.
Hope things went well today & that you've gotten some rest, Brenda! I've been thinking of you a lot--wishing you peace, dear friend. Warm Oregon hugs, Greta
You really do write well, Brenda! I was right there trucking along after my keys, losing my breath, and then on that bus with you. I would have been thinking some "Oh, dear," and "bleep" words when I realized I didn't know what section my car was in! Thankfully, you have a lot of guardian angels watching out for things like keys and parking lots and shuttles.
I think you have to trust those same angels will help you through this. That must have been quite a shock to have all those people trooping in and out and talking of "last care" when you were only thinking of nursing home care. We went though that feeding tube stuff with Kevin's mom and we learned you have to be very careful as it relates to a DNR. Once it goes in, it can be very difficult to remove IN SPITE of having a DNR, so please make sure you fully understand the particular facility's policies before agreeing to that step. No one wants to talk about these possibilities when they are young and fit, but really we all should and I know you've been good about that, thank goodness.
I'm keeping you and Bill in my thoughts and prayers. I'll be home this weekend, except for an errand or two. Love and tender hugs, Darnell
Goodness Brenda what a day you have had. Keeping you in my thoughts and like Di says you need to eat too. Had a bit of an odd day here today. The Doc went round to the surgery to pick his repeat perscription up for his Postrate pills to find they haven't got any to give him. They handed him an IOU instead and said come back next week we have given out all the pills we can this month. Next week is a new month so you can have some then!!!! Good job he doesn't let his pills run right out or he could be in the situation of no pills till Wednesday at least. I know it could be worse in that we could live in an area where the 'C' pills are not given at all because of the cost of them. Each health authority has it's own priorities of who needs what the most. Hugs Mrs A.
I'm glad that you are still able to see the humor in some of the situations, even though this is not a happy time at all just now. It takes a lot of strength to face all this trial. I'm glad you found your keys, got your inhalers..(goodness you don't need the breathing stuff to kick up just now!). I can guess that all the 'talks' had you so upset, with something you had perhaps not considered just yet. God willing that the situation will ease up just a bit until you can face whatever comes. I'm so thankful for you, that the boys are there with you.,to share some of this difficulty. I'm also thankful that B. is where the medics can control his pain better, Know that hearts & prayers are with you just now! Hugs.
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