Wednesday, October 28, 2015





It is with a sad and heavy heart that I tell you hubby is in the hospital and when he is released he will go directly to the nursing home. The above pictures are how he has been this whole month. I think I can truly say this has been the worst month of our lives and I thank you all for being here with me.  When I got up yesterday he was on the floor of the sunroom. I don't know how long he had been there and he could not get up. The firemen came and his blood pressure was 100/40 and pulse was 167. They called the paramedics and they took him to the hospital.  They couldn't find the hernia unless it was popped out while they were checking. He had chest xray and stomach xray, a head and stomach CT scan and lots of blood work. He slept the entire day and never turned his head to see that I was there. The social worker came in to talk to me and said they could admit him to the nursing home from there when he was released. They did find he had a UTI and will keep him three days to get that under control and also cultural the bloodwork.  I have to tell you that I cried each time when I told the boys but they assured me I was doing the right thing. I know in my heart it is the best for him. He needs more care at this point than I can give him. I'm going to shower and get myself up there this morning and check on him. He will start in on me the minute I walk in the room about taking him home. I dread it. He gets so upset and angry that he is there. Maybe he will be sleeping.


10 comments:

  1. Oh Brenda, my heart breaks for you. But, particularly given your hubby's collapse and also these photos, it truly is time for him to have the full time nursing care. You've done your utmost but it can't go on honey - otherwise you'll be in there right beside him! Sending you love and lots of hugs.

    Di xxx

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  2. I'm in tears with you, my friend. Thank you for sharing the photos which clearly show, as Di says, that he is need of care and I would add, he is too big for you and it was only a matter of time before you hurt your back or fell yourself and broke a hip. Even so, I can imagine how awful it is to reach this crossroad. I'm so glad you have your sons and that you have their full support. They know and you should know in your heart that you did the very best you could for as long as you could and you mustn't ever doubt that.You have a lot of friends pulling for you as well. I'm here if you want to call and I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Much love, Darnell

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  3. Dear Brenda, You've been on my mind & I know why. Wish I could be there to give you a hug & bring you coffee. I know there's nothing that can make this easier or lessen your pain, but I wish there was! Please take care of yourself & I'm home all day, so call if you want to talk. I can listen, even if you just need to cry. Warm hugs, Greta

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  4. Oh Brenda, I am so, so sorry. I can't imagine how hard this is on you but I do think you are doing the right thing. The pictures show that he does need the help that a nursing home will provide. You've done so much for him. I am saying prayers for you both and asking God to give you the strength you need to get through the transition. Big hugs my friend.

    Lisa
    A Mermaid's Crafts

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  5. Oh Brenda, my heart breaks for you. What a hard decision to make, but I think you have made the right one. I think it is at that place where he needs more care than you can give him. GOD bless you, my friend! Give me a call, if you want to talk. HUGS!

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  6. I'm so sorry you have to make this difficult decision Brenda, the pics really paint the picture though and what a wonderful job you've done caring for him at home for this long. sending hugs, Cathy x

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  7. You have struggled for so long to care for hubby on your own. You are absolutely doing the right thing. The care home will be able to look after him 24/7 . Sis and I had to make the difficult decision with Dad 4yrs ago and place him in a care home because Mum couldn't cope with his Alzheimers/dementia anymore. It was the best thing we ever did as Dad is cared for in an invironment that is geared up for looking after his illness. It is his Birthday today and though we have sent cards and Sis will pop in and see him he will not know or recognise what is going on.Your pictures of Hubby are exactly how Dad is so I know your doing the right thing and never doubt yourself on that score.My heart goes out to you. Big virtual hugs and you take care of yourself.
    xxxxxxx Mrs A.

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  8. As everyone else has said, you are absolutely doing the right thing - for both of you. You have struggled on for so long and done everything you can for your hubby, but the time is right now for him to move somewhere where he can be given the full time nursing care he needs. Sending you lots of (((hugs))) from across The Pond xxx

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  9. Brenda, I am so sorry to hear about everything you're going through. This must be so incredibly difficult. You are so strong and have done so much to care for your husband during these challenging times. Trust in yourself----you are doing the right thing. Thinking of you and sending you big hugs!

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  10. My dear Brenda, This just breaks my heart for Bill AND you! I can guess how difficult this was for you - but your boys are telling you the right thing. He needs more care than you can give, even though you so want to keep him with you. Just do your crying as you need to, with the knowledge in your heart, that you did the best for him, as long as possible, and are continuing to do just that, by letting other caregivers into the battle now. Bless you both, and big hugs. Be strong when he wants to come home.

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